Wasting time, sitting still

I wrote this a few weeks ago.... If anyone knows how to backdate entries I'd be grateful if they could let me know. In an older version of blogger it just used to ask you to confirm the date of an entry at the bottom of the edit screen but at some point that option disappeared...

I should start by saying that I’ve been quite positive over the last week or so. There have been a number of reasons for this, but don’t worry, I’ll use non-sentimentalised bullets:

• For the first time since my outing, I spoke to all of biological family in one phone call. It felt like all of my Ramadan’s had come in one go. It feels like I am slowly being reintegrated back into the family. Even my biological Dad spoke to me, although I have to admit I find his accent quite difficult to understand. I don’t want to hope too much because I know that hope is a dangerous thing, but I look forward to a day when I can think of myself as having two families. I’ve always secretly felt like I already have two families, but maybe soon my feelings wil be reciprocated. I can now casually mention the fact that I am adopted to people I don’t even know that well, should an appropriate and relevant moment arise. This is what I believe people call progress. A year ago I wasn’t even ready to tell my closest friends;
• I’ve decided to return to the UK. Now everyone who knows me knows that this decision was pretty much made quite some time ago. It’s good to be able to vocalise it. I think it may be six months to a year before I return, but return I will. This makes me happy;
• I’ve met some new people. I’ve given out my phone number to about six or seven people in the last couple of weeks and I’ve even met up with one of them, a real life girl no less, for a coffee. I’ve been flirting quite a bit recently and it feels good. I’ve set myself the humble aim of going on something resembling a date before the end of the year. I wanted to accomplish this modest feat before reaching 25, but I failed;
• I feel like I am in control of my life, to a greater extent than any point at since I left England;
• I’ve discovered a lot of good music recently; and
• I’ve not been worrying about money recently.

It’s probably with no great surprise that I add that my good mood ended yesterday. Oh well, there’ll be others, of this I am sure.